Hi Everyone, sorry it has taken me so long to post something new, life has been hectic as usual. Just wanted to say some quick facts about me then I will got into more about Reagan's history in a later post.
1) I am not a writer, in fact I hate to write so I apologize in advance.
2) Spelling and grammar were my two worse subjects in school.
3) I don't usually talk about my feelings so this is new to me and I will do the best I can.
Those are the 3 most important things to remember when reading this blog. I will try to make it as entertaining and educational as possible in hopes to help others out there going through similar trials and tribulations. Stay posted for information on JRA and Reagan's history with it and our daily struggles living with it.
Reagan
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Crying
I have not cried today...two days in a row must be some sort of new record for me, at least recently. Part of me feels bad about not crying but then on days I do cry I start to think, why am I the one crying I am not the one in pain, it is Reagan who feels the pain of this disease. Then after I beat myself up for crying I try reasoning with myself which goes something like this...Ok Amber, you are right she is the one that feels the physical pain of this disease but you feel the mental pain. You understand the long term effects this can have on her life and future and she can't comprehend that. That reasoning usually helps for awhile and I continue to cry to myself either while the kids are napping or at night after everyone else has gone to bed. While crying I wonder is there anyone else who feels the way I do right now? Does anyone else go through this song and dance? What are those people doing to feel better? Do they feel guilty like I do?
Long story short I don't know the answers to any of those questions. I try to pull what little knowledge I have from an undergraduate degree in Psychology to help out, but somehow what I read in a textbook doesn't transfer over to real life so easily. So I usually end up praying, praying for healing for my baby and for strength to get through this time and get her to that point. Strength for making the right decisions about what treatments to do or what doctors to see, but mostly for strength to get up every morning and try to be the best wife and mother possible. I take things day by day now because that is how this disease forces us to live.
Part of me wonders if God presented us with this challenge in part to help me slow down. I don't know what all of the reasons are, and maybe I never will, but I have decided, through this blog and hopefully other outlets in the future, that it is my mission to fight this disease and to be a shoulder to cry on for any parents or children dealing with JRA.
I will leave you today with this time old saying, which I am starting to think might have some truth to it,...IT IS OK TO CRY!!!! So my friends cry if you need to and know that you are not alone in doing so!
Long story short I don't know the answers to any of those questions. I try to pull what little knowledge I have from an undergraduate degree in Psychology to help out, but somehow what I read in a textbook doesn't transfer over to real life so easily. So I usually end up praying, praying for healing for my baby and for strength to get through this time and get her to that point. Strength for making the right decisions about what treatments to do or what doctors to see, but mostly for strength to get up every morning and try to be the best wife and mother possible. I take things day by day now because that is how this disease forces us to live.
Part of me wonders if God presented us with this challenge in part to help me slow down. I don't know what all of the reasons are, and maybe I never will, but I have decided, through this blog and hopefully other outlets in the future, that it is my mission to fight this disease and to be a shoulder to cry on for any parents or children dealing with JRA.
I will leave you today with this time old saying, which I am starting to think might have some truth to it,...IT IS OK TO CRY!!!! So my friends cry if you need to and know that you are not alone in doing so!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Welcome to my blog
I have not cried today...had you met me a few months ago I could not have said that. This is a long story (not so long time frame wise, but it sure seems like it) so I will start at the beginning. My name is Amber, wife to a wonderful husband Jeff, and mother to two beautiful, perfect children, Reagan who is two and a half and Brady who is 18 months. Prior to May 2010 our life was perfect, we were sailing along without a care in the world oblivious to any and all problems that might be thrown our way. Then comes May 2010 and my beautiful, perfect energetic daughter Reagan starts to limp. This was nothing that I was too concerned about as she didn't really change her activity level or mood. After a couple of weeks when it didn't go away we decided we should have it looked at, and that was the beginning. I would say the beginning of the end, but we don't know if we ever will reach the end of this journey. Long story short, almost 2 months later, (I will go into more detail later) we have ended up with the diagnosis of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. I am starting this blog not only for therapy for myselt, but also in hopes that God will find a way to get it to the other Moms and Parents out there going through this same thing who need support just like we do. One day my hope is to somehow change this disease and the precious children who like Reagan suffer with it everyday.
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